... There's no way I would choose Elijah as a name. It feels like I'm taking something that isn't mine.
[ even if it is, it still isn't -- she wouldn't be surprised if netzach had a familiar citizen name too, convenient as it is for the taking.
hence, yes: the chosen "ellie" instead. ]
Kinda makes me feel like I'm living for two right now, actually.
[ joking as she is, there's a tentative worry beneath it all; isn't she just living the life elijah should have? is this really herself? would there become a time when those memories weren't just something to look back on, but something she'd tell again and again and again as if she owned them herself and her lives began to bleed into one?
...
there's probably nothing at all to worry about, but. it's a thought that comes and goes now and then. ]
no subject
[ even if it is, it still isn't -- she wouldn't be surprised if netzach had a familiar citizen name too, convenient as it is for the taking.
hence, yes: the chosen "ellie" instead. ]
Kinda makes me feel like I'm living for two right now, actually.
[ joking as she is, there's a tentative worry beneath it all; isn't she just living the life elijah should have? is this really herself? would there become a time when those memories weren't just something to look back on, but something she'd tell again and again and again as if she owned them herself and her lives began to bleed into one?
...
there's probably nothing at all to worry about, but. it's a thought that comes and goes now and then. ]